Atilla Shrugged

Ayn arrives at the service entrance to heaven after hiking the quadrillion miles, out of breath. Finding the door locked, rings the bell. She shivers and hugs herself against the cold. She waits, then, exasperated, rings again.

Francisco D'Anconia was like Bernie Madoff, but better at it.

Guardian Angel, opens the door, distastefully, in the manner of a butler: “Yes…”

Ayn, indignant: “I’ve come to see the inventor of the motor.”

Guardian Angel, doubtfully, inquiringly: “The motor?”

Ayn: “The great motor of the universe!”

Guardian Angel: “Ah, yes, we heard you were coming…”

Ayn hugs herself against the cold, stomps her feet.

Ayn, stepping inside the gate: “Hosannah! Hosannah in the Highest!”

GuardiAn Angel,**** pleased: “Such enthusiasm!”

Ayn: “I would have walked quadrillion of quadrillions, raised to the quadrillionth power! Only to meet the inventor of the motor!”

An Angel, disapprovingly: “Reactionary!”

Another Angel, sarcastically: “Hosannah indeed!”

Ayn, sarcastically, incredulously: “The inventor of the motor, for God’s sake! Take me to him!”

Prince Myshkin arrives.

Guardian Angel, whispers to Prince Myshkin: “There is something unusual about this case.”

Prince Myshkin: “Yes, she is a gate crasher.”

Guardian Angel, surprised: “Gate crasher?”

Prince Myshkin: “She managed to crash land her plane into Paradise, no one knows quite how. She’s not entirely sure she wants to be here… a scab, you might say.”

Guardian Angel, doubtfully: “This is something we hadn’t provided for, the first scab!”

Prince Myshkin, handing over documents on a clipboard: “Yes, yes, it’s an unusual case, but you can see for yourself, all the paperwork is in order.”

Guardian Angel, sarcastically, bowing: “Welcome to the kingdom of heaven.”

Ayn: looking to Prince Myshkin: “Fool!”

Myshkin, not in the least offended, smiles, looks almost adoringly at Ayn. From a distance, approaching: singing, an old Negro spiritual, somewhat distant…

To the tune of “Workin’ on the Railroad Line”: (Key of F)

…the singer is Eddie Willers. He sees Ayn and the Prince.

Eddie Willers, thrilled: “Dagny!”

Ayn coldly, correcting him: “Ayn”

Eddie Willers: “Dagny! Where you been! I stayed with the Comet to all the way to th’ end!”

Ayn: “Yes, I know, I left you there.”

Eddie Willers, pleadingly: “You left me there?”

Ayn: “Yes, to show that, although you had virtue, you were lacking in the principles of a Mohammed or a Napoleon.”

Eddie Willers, despairing: “Principles of a Napoleon?”

Ayn: eagerly, desperately: “Have you seen Hank? Where is John Galt?”

Eddie Willers, shrugs: “Ain’t nobody knows fo’ sure”

Ayn, demanding: “We must find them!”

Eddie Willers, explaining: “I know where your grandfather is…”

Ayn, perplexed: “…my grandfather?”

Eddie Willers, excited: “Old Nat Taggart, I think I know where he is…”

Ayn: “We must find him!”

Prince Myshkin: “Come Ayn, we’ll look for them together!”

Ayn, following Myshkin exclaims: “Idiot!”

Transition to Eddie Willers’ apartment…